Before getting together with the members of your conversation group, go over the questions below to get acquainted with the topic, look up some information and deal with some vocabulary problems you may come across.
- What major wars or conflicts can you name?
- When were they?
- What were the reasons for them?
- Which wars has your country been involved in?
- How has war changed through the ages?
- In what ways hasn't war changed through the ages?
- What are the worst consequences of war?
- What might the benefits of war be?
- How are the following events related to war? Nuclear arms , genocide, war on terror, arms trade, landmines
To illustrate the topic of war you can watch this New York Times video, Six Years Gone For a Soldier's Family, Mourning but Moving, and read the accompanying New York Times article A Soldier’s Requiem, Never Fading Away.
There’s more good days than bad days. For me a good day is when I wake up and it doesn’t feel like I’ve been sucked in the stomach.
My husband Paul was killed in Iraq in 2006. Emily was 8 years old, Caroline was 6 years old, and Julia was 4 years old.
Things don’t really make me like sad any more very much, something to do but the kid bullies me or something, I don’t really care, because I’ve gone through harder things than that.
Under my pillow every night I have a laminated picture of him. I still think about him and sometimes I miss him.
When people start talking about when their dads are coming home or oh my that’s been away for so long, I miss him so much, in the back of my mind I’m kind of thinking ‘suck it up, three months isn’t as long as forever.’
I have more challenges with Julia now than I did when she was four, five and six because the whole idea of dad was hard for her to understand. Now as she’s older she gets ‘oh, he’s not really gonna be here. Caroline she was always attached to her dad. It took a good two years just to see a smile on the child’s face. Emily just wanted things to be normal. She wanted to get back to school, she wanted to get back to her activities, so she did.
One thing that Paul’s death has muddied it up for parenting is how much sometimes the stuff is just average kid stuff, teen stuff or girl stuff, and how much of it is, ok this was, this was about Paul today.
I struggle and I try really hard that his death doesn’t define them. I don’t want them ever to feel held back by memories, because memories can do that sometimes, even the best of memories. I don’t want them ever to hesitate oh God but I need to be here for mum.
Maybe part of me likes to hide behind being so busy, so I don’t have to be so sad. I tell them, I talk to your dad all the time, I’ll say, ‘ok, Paul, what do I need to do with this. This is what your daughter is facing. What do we do? I miss my friend, and I miss my friend being here to help raise our children together. But I think, they seem to be doing ok, I think we’re ok.
